










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 239 | 26% |
| Smokes | 279 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 369 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 48 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $365,621 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | This is not my Dad | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Fatals | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | chaser | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | React | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | Godly | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | This is not my Dad | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Fatals | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | chaser | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | React | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | Godly | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | React | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Godly | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | This is not my Dad | 1 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | React | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Fatals | 40 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #3 | chaser | 22 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Godly | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godly | +2.34 | 65 | 49 |
| #2 | chaser | +1.40 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | Fatals | +1.21 | 45 | 51 |
| #4 | React | +0.05 | 44 | 58 |
| #5 | EnvyyxionTTV | -0.28 | 69 | 36 |





