








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 418 | 40% |
| Smokes | 84 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 373 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 170 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $130,996 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rappsure | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | asylumdoctor | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | berry | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | fr0z0ne | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Lee Harvey Oswald | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeathScout | 9 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Monkey D Weirdo | 5 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Grave | 3 | 0.0208 |
| #4 | Lee Harvey Oswald | 2 | 0.0125 |
| #5 | Squito_ | 2 | 0.0282 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeathScout | +4.75 | 92 | 25 |
| #2 | Rappsure | +4.69 | 63 | 68 |
| #3 | asylumdoctor | +4.25 | 76 | 72 |
| #4 | Lee Harvey Oswald | +0.94 | 42 | 43 |
| #5 | Grave | +0.23 | 77 | 56 |





