








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 589 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 20% |
| Smokes | 728 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 473 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 224 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $710,410 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Euphie | 82% | 22 |
| #2 | EthicalChaser1312 | 70% | 80 |
| #3 | Carley | 67% | 45 |
| #4 | Niko | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Euphie | 82% | 22 |
| #2 | EthicalChaser1312 | 70% | 80 |
| #3 | Carley | 67% | 45 |
| #4 | Niko | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EthicalChaser1312 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Niko | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Carley | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Euphie | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niko | 63 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Carley | 57 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Euphie | 54 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | EthicalChaser1312 | 25 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff Bezos | +3.70 | 79 | 36 |
| #2 | Carley | +1.69 | 67 | 29 |
| #3 | Euphie | +1.30 | 47 | 58 |
| #4 | EthicalChaser1312 | -2.13 | 33 | 24 |
| #5 | Niko | -4.27 | 24 | 39 |





