








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 801 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6847 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5306 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3551 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4241 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $808,389 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 822 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gullyman | 55% | 198 |
| #6 | jugo_boss_123 | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | Basher | 48% | 138 |
| #8 | Araxi | 47% | 107 |
| #9 | losing vibe | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tin of Ravioli | 19 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | Gullyman | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | buster scruggs | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Basher | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Araxi | 7 | 0.0031 |





