








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 684 | 30% |
| Smokes | 795 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 604 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 205 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $437,972 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FirstSun | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Gumbi | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | Jonesbones | 49% | 57 |
| #4 | Cark | 43% | 28 |
| #5 | stiffler | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gumbi | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | Jonesbones | 49% | 57 |
| #4 | Cark | 43% | 28 |
| #5 | stiffler | 43% | 35 |
| #6 | GANDALFMVI | 40% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gumbi | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | GANDALFMVI | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Jonesbones | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | stiffler | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | FirstSun | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GANDALFMVI | 111 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | FirstSun | 54 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jonesbones | 36 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gumbi | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cark | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juco | +3.82 | 65 | 47 |
| #2 | FirstSun | +0.85 | 93 | 46 |
| #3 | Gumbi | -0.50 | 67 | 40 |
| #4 | Cark | -0.80 | 32 | 28 |
| #5 | GANDALFMVI | -1.93 | 39 | 37 |





