








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 274 matches | ||
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5926 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3600 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3202 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3546 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $744,833 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 708 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴾʳʸ 123 | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | Mr.Nobody | 48% | 73 |
| #3 | Woelkchen | 16% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴾʳʸ 123 | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | Mr.Nobody | 48% | 73 |
| #3 | Woelkchen | 16% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Nobody | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Woelkchen | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Nobody | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | ᴾʳʸ 123 | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Woelkchen | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Nobody | +8.50 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | COUNTER-SMOKE | -1.86 | 21 | 53 |
| #3 | ᴾʳʸ 123 | -2.18 | 39 | 34 |
| #4 | Woelkchen | -5.38 | 15 | 16 |





