








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1104 | 35% |
| Smokes | 855 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 487 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 736 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $76,109 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aemonn | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | myrkkysammakko | 43% | 28 |
| #3 | kekezy | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | BIGMANTING | 35% | 20 |
| #5 | assripper | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | myrkkysammakko | 43% | 28 |
| #3 | kekezy | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | BIGMANTING | 35% | 20 |
| #5 | assripper | 33% | 21 |
| #6 | vino | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | assripper | 15 | 0.0365 |
| #2 | myrkkysammakko | 7 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | BIGMANTING | 6 | 0.0164 |
| #4 | vino | 6 | 0.0556 |
| #5 | Aemonn | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGMANTING | 81 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | assripper | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | myrkkysammakko | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | kekezy | 12 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | vino | 12 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whitesupercar87 | +2.23 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | BIGMANTING | +1.66 | 50 | 49 |
| #3 | myrkkysammakko | +0.50 | 67 | 38 |
| #4 | assripper | +0.42 | 46 | 27 |
| #5 | Aemonn | +0.04 | 72 | 65 |





