








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1231 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1562 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1366 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1628 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $624,587 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eggiFUNCTION- | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | Jazzycakes | 89% | 9 |
| #3 | LeXmaskinen | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | THEIcemaskin | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | 333 Kirby | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E.M.A Búbbla | 216 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Robbi | 114 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | koarru | 73 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Icenosi | 67 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tofu | 62 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 333 Kirby | +3.62 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | Robbi | +3.19 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | eggiFUNCTION- | +1.93 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | THEIcemaskin | +1.72 | 59 | 49 |
| #5 | koarru | +1.46 | 73 | 58 |





