








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 133 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1063 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1491 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 907 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 855 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,815 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 713 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hworths | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | slipperysteve | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | young stroker the body snatcher | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hworths | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | slipperysteve | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | young stroker the body snatcher | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | young stroker the body snatcher | 27 | 0.0560 |
| #2 | slipperysteve | 12 | 0.0355 |
| #3 | hworths | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | young stroker the body snatcher | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | slipperysteve | 29 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | hworths | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hworths | +5.93 | 55 | 44 |
| #2 | slipperysteve | +1.25 | 34 | 36 |
| #3 | young stroker the body snatcher | -0.06 | 66 | 31 |
| #4 | azeo | -2.43 | 36 | 32 |





