








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




132 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4196 | 47% |
| Smokes | 2386 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1409 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 941 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,802 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2779 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:) | 69% | 42 |
| #2 | Hovis | 66% | 91 |
| #3 | toon | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | Xqx | 65% | 37 |
| #5 | umh | 65% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:) | +4.55 | 88 | 54 |
| #2 | toon | +3.99 | 85 | 54 |
| #3 | slice o' cheese | +3.98 | 93 | 65 |
| #4 | Dreamy | +3.32 | 92 | 49 |
| #5 | umh | +3.24 | 87 | 47 |





