










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 46 | 16% |
| Smokes | 72 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 83 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 79 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $77,583 of utility $261 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silov | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | Jockez | 38% | 13 |
| #3 | Sebbers. | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | traske | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | M4 | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silov | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | Jockez | 38% | 13 |
| #3 | Sebbers. | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | traske | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | M4 | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jockez | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sebbers. | 19 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Silov | 14 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | traske | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sebbers. | +0.93 | 81 | 39 |
| #2 | Jockez | +0.68 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | Silov | -1.10 | 52 | 77 |
| #4 | are$ | -2.36 | 48 | 47 |
| #5 | M4 | -4.10 | 39 | 32 |





