










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 725 | 31% |
| Smokes | 812 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 323 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 459 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,787 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bru | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Blomman | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | safr. | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | STeW | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | LittleSnek | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Blomman | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | safr. | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | STeW | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | LittleSnek | 44% | 27 |
| #6 | Fabbe | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blomman | 13 | 0.0248 |
| #2 | safr. | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | LittleSnek | 6 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | STeW | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Bru | 1 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | safr. | 97 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | STeW | 76 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #3 | Blomman | 70 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | LittleSnek | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fabbe | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | safr. | +5.98 | 80 | 45 |
| #2 | LittleSnek | +0.97 | 63 | 45 |
| #3 | Bru | +0.35 | 69 | 36 |
| #4 | Blomman | -0.13 | 43 | 32 |
| #5 | Fabbe | -0.29 | 60 | 49 |





