








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2221 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2973 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2903 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3624 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,848,153 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1507 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baxter | 78% | 76 |
| #2 | OXPAHAMORISA | 77% | 128 |
| #3 | Cefty | 74% | 86 |
| #4 | Notho | 71% | 28 |
| #5 | storm | 68% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Notho | 71% | 28 |
| #5 | storm | 68% | 68 |
| #6 | TurtleTamer | 67% | 86 |
| #7 | aishiteru | 67% | 27 |
| #8 | zundo | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OXPAHAMORISA | 14 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | baxter | 12 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Cefty | 10 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | storm | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | zundo | 5 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OXPAHAMORISA | 499 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Cefty | 323 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | storm | 259 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | baxter | 230 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | TurtleTamer | 155 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OXPAHAMORISA | +5.87 | 97 | 65 |
| #2 | Notho | +2.66 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | Cefty | +2.13 | 78 | 69 |
| #4 | zundo | +1.64 | 76 | 43 |
| #5 | landonese | +1.43 | 83 | 50 |





