








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3025 | 11% |
| Smokes | 7221 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8747 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 8550 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,756,085 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NatyNoob | 104 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | arber | 64 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | A2zzzz | 64 | 0.0177 |
| #4 | lokuu | 58 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | The Suspect | 45 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arber | 1648 | 0.17 | 43 min |
| #2 | The Suspect | 1606 | 0.16 | 40 min |
| #3 | lokuu | 963 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #4 | NatyNoob | 834 | 0.08 | 20 min |
| #5 | сυсเ | 657 | 0.12 | 16 min |





