








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 238 | 25% |
| Smokes | 201 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 299 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 206 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $415,101 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KÖLA MAZDA 24/7 | 45% | 11 |
| #2 | Kråknäbb¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 38% | 100 |
| #3 | Cocafina | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | Alpha Bloodwolf | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | 𝓜𝓻.𝓖𝓻𝓮𝓮ท | 28% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kråknäbb¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | 𝓜𝓻.𝓖𝓻𝓮𝓮ท | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | KÖLA MAZDA 24/7 | 2 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Cocafina | 1 | 0.0083 |





