








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 220 | 35% |
| Smokes | 102 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 197 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 102 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,848 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KaaLiT | 36% | 14 |
| #6 | kosti.m.h2 | 29% | 14 |
| #7 | Myyrä | 0% | 2 |
| #8 | Bosnian Chiken Farmer | 0% | 2 |
| #9 | masa | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaaLiT | 6 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | kosti.m.h2 | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Myyrä | 1 | 0.0294 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaaLiT | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | kosti.m.h2 | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Häsä | 23 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | gonk | 16 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | saniterexa | 9 | 0.08 | 0 min |





