








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 720 | 37% |
| Smokes | 740 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 262 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 219 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,289 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sean_banan | 50% | 6 |
| #9 | 143hz god | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | foreskin jerky enjoyer | 33% | 6 |
| #11 | Gigachad | 33% | 9 |
| #12 | eliste06 | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eliste06 | 4 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | KNOXヅ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Affe 3==D~~~~~ | 2 | 0.0153 |
| #4 | Speed | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | foreskin jerky enjoyer | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 143hz god | +3.86 | 76 | 40 |
| #2 | penisripper | +2.90 | 76 | 26 |
| #3 | ringarn | +2.74 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | Speed | +1.63 | 59 | 46 |
| #5 | hej | +1.45 | 89 | 56 |





