








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 703 | 26% |
| Smokes | 980 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 681 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 304 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,854 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Buy Cheatz | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Alpha_ | 50% | 154 |
| #3 | sulicabrok | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | Zgegdunether | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | jbwerth | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Alpha_ | 50% | 154 |
| #3 | sulicabrok | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | Zgegdunether | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | jbwerth | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | OkuiZz | 39% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alpha_ | 21 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | OkuiZz | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | I Buy Cheatz | 9 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | sulicabrok | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Zgegdunether | 3 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OkuiZz | 172 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | I Buy Cheatz | 110 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Zgegdunether | 54 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Alpha_ | 45 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | jbwerth | 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Buy Cheatz | +8.73 | 64 | 57 |
| #2 | Zgegdunether | +6.25 | 62 | 64 |
| #3 | Tsunaka | +0.98 | 64 | 36 |
| #4 | Alpha_ | -1.54 | 22 | 30 |
| #5 | OkuiZz | -1.69 | 37 | 48 |





