








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 978 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2604 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2549 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1808 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2293 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $692,239 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 497 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Pie | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Fl0wZ | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | The Replicant | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Rhyza | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Madspecs | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Pie | 383 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | Madspecs | 143 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Rhyza | 119 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | ♥ McPipster | 118 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | AliBond | 85 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klay | +3.34 | 84 | 77 |
| #2 | AliBond | +1.88 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | Rhyza | +1.85 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | godkU | +1.20 | 68 | 77 |
| #5 | Ken0bi_ | +1.20 | 72 | 74 |





