








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1748 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2065 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1735 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1499 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,269,630 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | pågarnaisöder | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Matsi | 53% | 118 |
| #4 | pi1NG | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | PMQ | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PMQ | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | pågarnaisöder | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Matsi | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | pi1NG | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matsi | 119 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | pi1NG | 47 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | pågarnaisöder | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | PMQ | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | B | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matsi | +3.06 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | pi1NG | +1.69 | 72 | 51 |
| #3 | PMQ | +0.37 | 75 | 32 |
| #4 | pågarnaisöder | -0.61 | 41 | 66 |
| #5 | Magge | -0.85 | 37 | 49 |





