








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1097 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1247 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 803 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 794 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,918 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonato | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Pedrone o Verdadeiro! | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Rato Velho | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | hin0 | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | japsal | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedrone o Verdadeiro! | 103 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | Nonato | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Beretta do Vampeta | 56 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | hin0 | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chuuu Bacca | 33 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | japsal | +7.68 | 93 | 62 |
| #2 | Rato Velho | +2.49 | 70 | 45 |
| #3 | hin0 | +0.76 | 88 | 56 |
| #4 | Nonato | +0.73 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | MDF | +0.41 | 48 | 65 |





