








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1076 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1452 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2746 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1565 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1442 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,589 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 585 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dwoo | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | #VuLk4n ◤✞ 𝓑𝓲𝓰_𝓞 ✞◥ | 68% | 41 |
| #3 | bob. | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | KairRON- | 49% | 198 |
| #5 | Thaddäus | 48% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | #VuLk4n ◤✞ 𝓑𝓲𝓰_𝓞 ✞◥ | 68% | 41 |
| #3 | bob. | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | KairRON- | 49% | 198 |
| #5 | Thaddäus | 48% | 88 |
| #6 | BUD-DAH | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KairRON- | 72 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | Thaddäus | 16 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | BUD-DAH | 7 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | dwoo | 5 | 0.0188 |
| #5 | bob. | 4 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KairRON- | 649 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Thaddäus | 96 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | dwoo | 71 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #4 | #VuLk4n ◤✞ 𝓑𝓲𝓰_𝓞 ✞◥ | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | BUD-DAH | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AquaNox. | +2.60 | 89 | 50 |
| #2 | KairRON- | +0.71 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | dwoo | +0.18 | 69 | 78 |
| #4 | bob. | -0.51 | 55 | 58 |
| #5 | #VuLk4n ◤✞ 𝓑𝓲𝓰_𝓞 ✞◥ | -0.86 | 39 | 54 |





