








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 841 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3099 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3572 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3104 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3352 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,411,193 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Persis | 57% | 258 |
| #2 | FakE- | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Jocke | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Sensei.) | 53% | 120 |
| #5 | rasse | 52% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Persis | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | rasse | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Sir Earl Gray | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Sensei.) | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | burssoni | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Persis | 874 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | rasse | 682 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #3 | Sir Earl Gray | 397 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | Sensei.) | 273 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | burssoni | 243 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Persis | +2.67 | 76 | 75 |
| #2 | GArY | +2.38 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | Kamaan | +1.38 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | Spammy | -0.43 | 33 | 71 |
| #5 | burssoni | -0.66 | 34 | 66 |





