








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16 | 8% |
| Smokes | 65 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 75 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 43 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,800 of utility $14 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koociz | 18% | 11 |
| #2 | The Russian Spy | 15% | 13 |
| #3 | Kirkenyahu | 0% | 5 |
| #4 | Decreasingly | 0% | 6 |
| #5 | MarXsman | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koociz | 18% | 11 |
| #2 | The Russian Spy | 15% | 13 |
| #3 | Kirkenyahu | 0% | 5 |
| #4 | Decreasingly | 0% | 6 |
| #5 | MarXsman | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Russian Spy | 3 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | Kirkenyahu | 3 | 0.0309 |
| #3 | MarXsman | 2 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarXsman | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #2 | koociz | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | The Russian Spy | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Decreasingly | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kirkenyahu | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koociz | +3.25 | 60 | 30 |
| #2 | Decreasingly | +1.64 | 62 | 31 |
| #3 | MarXsman | -2.54 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | The Russian Spy | -3.33 | 31 | 36 |
| #5 | Narrow | -3.43 | 38 | 23 |





