








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 435 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3913 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2611 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2584 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3647 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,878 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Numifan891 | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | Ice | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | skadewdle | 70% | 30 |
| #4 | Ryder | 67% | 27 |
| #5 | Nosom | 66% | 128 |





