








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 817 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1702 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2270 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2364 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,158,572 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Chungus | 35 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | PloopySnoof | 26 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | MnS ツ | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Jesus | 6 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PloopySnoof | +2.57 | 61 | 59 |
| #2 | Big Chungus | +1.99 | 78 | 50 |
| #3 | rEtArDeD bOi♿ | +1.36 | 88 | 30 |
| #4 | Jesus | +0.31 | 59 | 54 |
| #5 | MnS ツ | +0.07 | 66 | 62 |





