








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 70 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24 | 34% |
| Smokes | 11 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 16 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 19 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,461 of utility $6 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sihisevä | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | TN Mpristim | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | 13yo talent McKovaKikkeli | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | opommpu | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sihisevä | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | TN Mpristim | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | 13yo talent McKovaKikkeli | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | opommpu | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 13yo talent McKovaKikkeli | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | TN Mpristim | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 13yo talent McKovaKikkeli | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | sihisevä | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | TN Mpristim | 21 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | opommpu | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 13yo talent McKovaKikkeli | +5.89 | 85 | 53 |
| #2 | sihisevä | +1.73 | 74 | 44 |
| #3 | salakka ******* | +0.37 | 40 | 11 |
| #4 | TN Mpristim | -2.27 | 28 | 26 |
| #5 | opommpu | -4.14 | 46 | 26 |





