








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 230 | 30% |
| Smokes | 179 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 191 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 168 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $25,717 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TastyMuffinz | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Kung Fu Padda | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | SjursenBabe69 | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | SUG EN BLYANT | 0% | 2 |
| #5 | Nep | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kung Fu Padda | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | SjursenBabe69 | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | SUG EN BLYANT | 0% | 2 |
| #5 | Nep | 0% | 2 |
| #6 | Dosia | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SjursenBabe69 | 36 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #2 | TastyMuffinz | 14 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | Dosia | 11 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | Kung Fu Padda | 8 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Nep | 5 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dosia | +4.65 | 96 | 72 |
| #2 | - Rezox | +1.01 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | SjursenBabe69 | -0.34 | 89 | 71 |
| #4 | TastyMuffinz | -0.98 | 79 | 43 |
| #5 | SUG EN BLYANT | -4.64 | 92 | 59 |





