








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1926 | 64% |
| Smokes | 305 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 603 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 194 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,319 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dawg | 57% | 134 |
| #2 | Winnie The Nuuh | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Nixon | 55% | 62 |
| #4 | Treme | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | JA5U | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Winnie The Nuuh | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Nixon | 55% | 62 |
| #4 | Treme | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | JA5U | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | roblox | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dawg | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Nixon | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | JA5U | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Treme | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | roblox | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dawg | 399 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | JA5U | 105 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Treme | 99 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | roblox | 65 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nixon | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winnie The Nuuh | +2.88 | 59 | 49 |
| #2 | dawg | +1.64 | 92 | 54 |
| #3 | Treme | +0.97 | 69 | 57 |
| #4 | roblox | -0.04 | 99 | 37 |
| #5 | JA5U | -0.40 | 65 | 64 |





