










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Renown | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1956 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1362 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 931 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1182 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,757 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gald?gs 𒉭?! | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Lean Canvas | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | dragz. | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | M1raS | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | NEATH1NG | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lean Canvas | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | dragz. | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | M1raS | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | NEATH1NG | 43% | 23 |
| #6 | TKKKK | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TKKKK | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | M1raS | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Lean Canvas | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Gald?gs 𒉭?! | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | NEATH1NG | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1raS | 148 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | TKKKK | 111 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | NEATH1NG | 56 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lean Canvas | 44 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | dragz. | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dragz. | +4.37 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | Gald?gs 𒉭?! | +1.94 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | TKKKK | +1.79 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | NEATH1NG | +1.37 | 49 | 59 |
| #5 | VF | itstomik1 | +0.22 | 72 | 51 |





