








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3306 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2210 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2546 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1894 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,516 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zikrii | 54% | 100 |
| #2 | BakedNaked | 51% | 188 |
| #3 | Logmein | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | Kwiwi | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | Rǝsʜuu | 47% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BakedNaked | 51% | 188 |
| #3 | Logmein | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | Kwiwi | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | Rǝsʜuu | 47% | 111 |
| #6 | Deba | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rǝsʜuu | 25 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Zikrii | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | BakedNaked | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Deba | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Logmein | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BakedNaked | 654 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Zikrii | 358 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Rǝsʜuu | 134 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kwiwi | 100 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Logmein | 78 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zikrii | +4.02 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | Rǝsʜuu | +3.20 | 84 | 35 |
| #3 | de-ranking services | +0.19 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | BakedNaked | -1.10 | 52 | 66 |
| #5 | Logmein | -1.96 | 33 | 53 |





