








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 496 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2956 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1604 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3950 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2319 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $788,871 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuuhkasee | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | T00 | 70% | 63 |
| #3 | odezy | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | Zazper | 57% | 110 |
| #5 | nippuside7 | 52% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuuhkasee | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | T00 | 70% | 63 |
| #3 | odezy | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | Zazper | 57% | 110 |
| #5 | nippuside7 | 52% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nippuside7 | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Zazper | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | T00 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | odezy | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Kuuhkasee | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nippuside7 | 619 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | Zazper | 445 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | T00 | 299 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | odezy | 83 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kuuhkasee | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kontio | +2.07 | 70 | 65 |
| #2 | nippuside7 | +1.17 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | odezy | +0.82 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | Zazper | -0.41 | 45 | 69 |
| #5 | Kuuhkasee | -0.73 | 28 | 60 |





