








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 316 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2711 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1009 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1927 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 231 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $411,093 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Briedutis | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | zunda | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | Mr. Fantastiškasis | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | carg0 | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | Kl3vas | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Briedutis | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | zunda | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | Mr. Fantastiškasis | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | carg0 | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | Kl3vas | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Fantastiškasis | 7 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | Briedutis | 5 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | zunda | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | carg0 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Briedutis | 75 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | zunda | 74 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | carg0 | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mr. Fantastiškasis | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kl3vas | 18 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0triv1n | +0.78 | 53 | 70 |
| #2 | Briedutis | -0.87 | 20 | 47 |
| #3 | Mr. Fantastiškasis | -1.14 | 58 | 44 |
| #4 | carg0 | -1.81 | 57 | 53 |
| #5 | zunda | -2.03 | 10 | 51 |





