








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1915 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1197 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1551 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1089 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2276 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,265,787 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1544 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StreppeN | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | ♔ l1ppyツ | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | Pifflan | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | yokio | 46% | 80 |
| #5 | 🂡 Klumpen | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yokio | 293 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | ♔ l1ppyツ | 203 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | 🂡 Klumpen | 160 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | StreppeN | 97 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Pifflan | 57 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nova | +2.85 | 86 | 40 |
| #2 | Pifflan | +1.85 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | ♔ l1ppyツ | +0.45 | 64 | 43 |
| #4 | StreppeN | +0.35 | 82 | 68 |
| #5 | yokio | -1.87 | 70 | 62 |





