








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1829 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 441 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




148 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4219 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4543 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3907 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6158 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,682,526 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaige | 15 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | RedMenace1947 | 15 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Areus | 12 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Hanku Hill | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Ketamine_ | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaterDilon | 275 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Hanku Hill | 192 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ketamine_ | 184 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Areus | 139 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kaige | 132 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanku Hill | +3.96 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | Kaige | +2.60 | 46 | 24 |
| #3 | ♿CheeseGlizzy♿ | +2.05 | 62 | 53 |
| #4 | RedMenace1947 | +1.80 | 40 | 35 |
| #5 | Ketamine_ | -0.86 | 36 | 39 |





