










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 645 | 41% |
| Smokes | 251 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 395 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 289 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,781 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapibara | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | [1]cedcoffee | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Ergo | 56% | 64 |
| #4 | mikki | 46% | 71 |
| #5 | PEMA | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ergo | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | mikki | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Kapibara | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Paradise Keke | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | [1]cedcoffee | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ergo | 224 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | mikki | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kapibara | 42 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Paradise Keke | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | [1]cedcoffee | 30 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ergo | +5.39 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Paradise Keke | +2.64 | 64 | 56 |
| #3 | [1]cedcoffee | +2.28 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | mikki | +1.07 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | Kapibara | -2.15 | 52 | 54 |





