








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 142 | 66% |
| Smokes | 19 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 41 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 14 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $45,129 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoruko | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Skycap | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Bill Nye the CSGO Guy | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | Birdie1373 | 28% | 18 |
| #5 | Amorphous | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bill Nye the CSGO Guy | 29% | 7 |
| #4 | Birdie1373 | 28% | 18 |
| #5 | Amorphous | 0% | 2 |
| #6 | Gio69 | 0% | 2 |
| #7 | Fun Haver | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Birdie1373 | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Bill Nye the CSGO Guy | 1 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Gio69 | 1 | 0.0217 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bill Nye the CSGO Guy | 30 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #2 | Birdie1373 | 28 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Gio69 | 4 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Amorphous | 3 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fun Haver | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skycap | +7.23 | 64 | 68 |
| #2 | Gio69 | +5.02 | 83 | 31 |
| #3 | Amorphous | +0.91 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | Bill Nye the CSGO Guy | -0.07 | 78 | 74 |
| #5 | Birdie1373 | -1.19 | 74 | 48 |





