








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 572 | 25% |
| Smokes | 712 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 641 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 402 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,940 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flawzy | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | Greedy | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | ХВАТИТ ПЛАКАТЬ | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | p1sm1ce | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flawzy | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | Greedy | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | ХВАТИТ ПЛАКАТЬ | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | p1sm1ce | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flawzy | 6 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | ХВАТИТ ПЛАКАТЬ | 1 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flawzy | 84 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | p1sm1ce | 47 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | ХВАТИТ ПЛАКАТЬ | 17 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | Greedy | 15 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flawzy | +4.96 | 79 | 36 |
| #2 | ipixxxxxxx | +0.98 | 78 | 48 |
| #3 | Greedy | +0.76 | 75 | 52 |
| #4 | p1sm1ce | +0.64 | 78 | 54 |
| #5 | ХВАТИТ ПЛАКАТЬ | +0.20 | 78 | 61 |





