








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2147 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2373 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1502 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1898 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $413,969 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Sipho Dube | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | Kazuto | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Decimator no aim | 29% | 35 |
| #9 | _Lelike_Eendjie_ | 27% | 11 |
| #10 | Oupa Cap | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓢𝓹𝓪𝓬𝓮𝔂 | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Sipho Dube | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Cage | 3 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | HavitWonder1998 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Decimator no aim | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓢𝓹𝓪𝓬𝓮𝔂 | 454 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Decimator no aim | 122 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sipho Dube | 91 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | HavitWonder1998 | 88 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cage | 43 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cage | +3.89 | 71 | 56 |
| #2 | ΩDarkfrostΩ | +3.09 | 58 | 72 |
| #3 | 𝓢𝓹𝓪𝓬𝓮𝔂 | +0.86 | 56 | 58 |
| #4 | Kazuto | +0.31 | 31 | 62 |
| #5 | Sipho Dube | -0.39 | 50 | 60 |





