








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1873 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1554 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1673 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1559 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,438 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 98453982298423523525252534674864 | 51% | 65 |
| #2 | HoodRandy | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | strubson | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Paschi | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 98453982298423523525252534674864 | 51% | 65 |
| #2 | HoodRandy | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | strubson | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Paschi | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 98453982298423523525252534674864 | 50 | 0.0398 |
| #2 | HoodRandy | 5 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Paschi | 4 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | strubson | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 98453982298423523525252534674864 | 288 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | HoodRandy | 108 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | strubson | 15 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Paschi | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 98453982298423523525252534674864 | +4.22 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | strubson | +1.41 | 73 | 36 |
| #3 | HoodRandy | +1.07 | 83 | 35 |
| #4 | relay FPS | +0.04 | 63 | 49 |
| #5 | Paschi | -3.75 | 29 | 40 |





