








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 424 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Esplay | 16 matches | 1,453 | |
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4082 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2353 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 6048 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4730 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,151,429 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1065 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swoosh CS.PRO | 323 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Swifferly | 301 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | [Eclipse Elite] Peg4SuS | 154 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Wild1™ | 109 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | poogers™ | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |





