








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 634 | 27% |
| Smokes | 761 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 387 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 561 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,927 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Montgomery Burton | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | MARIXXX | 50% | 110 |
| #3 | Rat | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | UNknown | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | IAmNoRank | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Montgomery Burton | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | MARIXXX | 50% | 110 |
| #3 | Rat | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | UNknown | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | IAmNoRank | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MARIXXX | 38 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | Montgomery Burton | 11 | 0.0539 |
| #3 | Rat | 6 | 0.0233 |
| #4 | IAmNoRank | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MARIXXX | 280 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | UNknown | 52 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Rat | 23 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | IAmNoRank | 19 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Montgomery Burton | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MARIXXX | +3.39 | 65 | 47 |
| #2 | UNknown | +3.33 | 39 | 53 |
| #3 | Rat | -1.24 | 15 | 41 |
| #4 | Montgomery Burton | -1.42 | 14 | 23 |
| #5 | IAmNoRank | -2.43 | 29 | 43 |





