








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
80 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 207 | 37% |
| Smokes | 176 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 153 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 21 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $55,732 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dray | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | forteo0511 | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | JohnnyZes | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | sufipk11 | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Gom Van Trieken | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | forteo0511 | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | JohnnyZes | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | sufipk11 | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Gom Van Trieken | 55% | 20 |
| #6 | Mark | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | forteo0511 | 7 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | JohnnyZes | 6 | 0.0179 |
| #3 | sufipk11 | 4 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Mark | 2 | 0.0500 |
| #5 | Gom Van Trieken | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnnyZes | 89 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | Dray | 22 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #3 | sufipk11 | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | forteo0511 | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gom Van Trieken | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gom Van Trieken | +6.91 | 82 | 19 |
| #2 | JohnnyZes | +3.59 | 61 | 46 |
| #3 | Mark | +1.30 | 75 | 5 |
| #4 | Dray | -0.19 | 67 | 53 |
| #5 | sufipk11 | -0.33 | 60 | 43 |





