








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1644 | 38% |
| Smokes | 877 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1072 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 746 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $326,908 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 679 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Green | 45% | 74 |
| #2 | ??. Kj34rulff | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | Edgars Rinkēvičs | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | Upgrader | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | NobDot | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Green | 45% | 74 |
| #2 | ??. Kj34rulff | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | Edgars Rinkēvičs | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | Upgrader | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | NobDot | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Green | 12 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Edgars Rinkēvičs | 4 | 0.0238 |
| #3 | Upgrader | 2 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | ??. Kj34rulff | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | NobDot | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Upgrader | 51 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | ??. Kj34rulff | 50 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mr Green | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Edgars Rinkēvičs | 27 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | NobDot | 9 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ??. Kj34rulff | +2.78 | 46 | 60 |
| #2 | NobDot | +2.22 | 47 | 19 |
| #3 | Upgrader | +1.11 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | Mr Green | +0.60 | 49 | 26 |
| #5 | Edgars Rinkēvičs | -0.08 | 37 | 38 |





