








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2346 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1384 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2362 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1460 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,461,262 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spoogles | 57% | 67 |
| #2 | NoodleNan | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | The Future | 48% | 52 |
| #4 | Redstone | 47% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spoogles | 57% | 67 |
| #2 | NoodleNan | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | The Future | 48% | 52 |
| #4 | Redstone | 47% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redstone | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | The Future | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Spoogles | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | NoodleNan | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redstone | 374 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Spoogles | 129 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | The Future | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | NoodleNan | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Future | +4.24 | 57 | 54 |
| #2 | Spoogles | +3.07 | 67 | 48 |
| #3 | Radiant_V1 | +0.30 | 49 | 36 |
| #4 | NoodleNan | -1.40 | 40 | 48 |
| #5 | Redstone | -1.52 | 26 | 46 |





