










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 240 | 16% |
| Smokes | 334 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 412 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 529 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $165,127 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drug Money𒌐 | 4 | 0.0197 |
| #2 | Coors Light Connoisseur | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | PISS MISSILE | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PBR LOVER | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Drug Money𒌐 | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | CyberDrinker | 27 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Buldak Ramen Enjoyer | 21 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Coors Light Connoisseur | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drug Money𒌐 | +4.70 | 50 | 34 |
| #2 | PBR LOVER | +1.91 | 32 | 31 |
| #3 | Buldak Ramen Enjoyer | +1.46 | 35 | 52 |
| #4 | PISS MISSILE | +1.28 | 15 | 52 |
| #5 | Gibby | -1.03 | 24 | 40 |





