








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1308 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1489 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1565 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1457 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $501,466 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theopold | 52% | 106 |
| #2 | Friendly Capybara | 52% | 114 |
| #3 | Skitzad Svenne | 50% | 105 |
| #4 | Punken | 47% | 157 |
| #5 | Artvit | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Skitzad Svenne | 50% | 105 |
| #4 | Punken | 47% | 157 |
| #5 | Artvit | 43% | 28 |
| #6 | Sigge | 42% | 72 |
| #7 | Bogdan | 41% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bogdan | 28 | 0.0247 |
| #2 | Punken | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Sigge | 13 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Friendly Capybara | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Theopold | 9 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friendly Capybara | 297 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Skitzad Svenne | 115 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Theopold | 113 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sigge | 105 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Punken | 70 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theopold | +2.15 | 72 | 34 |
| #2 | Punken | +1.66 | 58 | 38 |
| #3 | Artvit | +1.37 | 64 | 51 |
| #4 | Fabian | +0.04 | 37 | 46 |
| #5 | Sigge | -0.25 | 39 | 42 |





