








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 965 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 600 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7321 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5922 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8942 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 3233 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1658 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,650,074 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 978 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean | 49% | 45 |
| #2 | MIRAGE ONLY | 46% | 100 |
| #3 | blergle | 45% | 78 |
| #4 | minmatic | 43% | 49 |
| #5 | Grope Wizard | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blergle | +3.44 | 92 | 67 |
| #2 | MIRAGE ONLY | +1.38 | 90 | 9 |
| #3 | Jean | +0.96 | 66 | 55 |
| #4 | minmatic | +0.24 | 83 | 68 |
| #5 | Bluie | +0.20 | 53 | 55 |





