








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1437 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1084 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1442 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1512 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,952 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✨丂Ҝ乇フㄥㄖ尺✨ | 23 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | fy3m | 20 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | ˜”*°•.J@n0.•°*”˜ | 11 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Nanušiik | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | sabča to je jméno mé :P* | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˜”*°•.J@n0.•°*”˜ | 201 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Nanušiik | 171 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | fy3m | 154 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✨丂Ҝ乇フㄥㄖ尺✨ | 148 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | sabča to je jméno mé :P* | 33 | 0.16 | 1 min |





