








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1500 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1853 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 824 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 823 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,778 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch Dum3s | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Shoultzy7 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | egoist | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Kyaza | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch Dum3s | 350 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Shoultzy7 | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | egoist | 65 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kyaza | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | All Day | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyaza | +3.30 | 88 | 47 |
| #2 | Twitch Dum3s | +2.31 | 59 | 59 |
| #3 | Zeyfu | +1.45 | 76 | 42 |
| #4 | egoist | +1.39 | 87 | 45 |
| #5 | Shoultzy7 | +0.46 | 52 | 61 |





